


i buried the hope of having my prayers answered

by allydyosei



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Magical Realism, lapslock, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-24 21:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allydyosei/pseuds/allydyosei
Summary: totsuka tatara is a man full of mystery. nobody knew much of his past before he joined kusanagi izumo and suoh mikoto, way before they have established homra.





	i buried the hope of having my prayers answered

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thisloveisradiant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisloveisradiant/gifts).

> happy, happy, happiest birthday to you, pop!! I'm sorry this is late. I wish you more happiness in everything and you deserve all the good things in life and I'm so happy that you're one of my closest friends, pop pop ;; I love you so much
> 
> I hope you enjoy this kind of revamp of that izutara rain au I did months ago <3
> 
> i'm a bit rusty in recalling the anime now and i haven't yet watched the whole k7s movies so i'm sorry if some things don't add up.
> 
> also forgive me for the grammar and spelling errors, i don't have a beta ^^;

kusanagi izumo knows everything about totsuka tatara yet he also knows nothing about him.

he knows him well enough to see his way of spending his days doing all of the hobbies he had picked up — from collecting succulents that decorated his bar and his home, taking care of them with all the love he had for them before turning to others that have caught his eye, barely keeping up with the younger man's fleeting fancies. he also knows how he cared and loved each one of them in homra, always have his camera in hand to record nearly all of the moments they never want to forget. he knew how totsuka can be reckless about his own life, recalling the times that he was on the risk of being killed or being beaten up by enemy gangs from their youth.

yet with all of those things kusanagi is aware of, he will not completely know everything about the blonde. no idea of his childhood prior to meeting he and mikoto in his middle school years, calling the former "King" with an awed look on his childish face. no clue on how totsuka sometimes feels behind his smiles papered on his face, looking serene with a hint of sorrow in the corners of his eyes and lips.

so when tostuka would nonchalantly talk about his past in bits and pieces, the older man soaks them up as to remember and, maybe, probably piece together how the man came to be.

and the answers on the eccentricity of his existence, not because of his front he seemed to put up on himself, but on the strange things he witnessed in their small company of two or three when mikoto's around.

(despite the fact mikoto never talks about it, kusanagi can tell how aware the redhead was on the strangeness of their youngest friend. the first few times would have chalked it up for a trick of the mind until it was too difficult to reason with.)

after time passed, there are now some pieces of totsuka's past that he can piece together to paint a slightly vague yet an understandable picture of his past. although he never said things outright, kusanagi could figure out to read between the lines hiding behind his teeth.

what he knew was this:

totsuka was left behind by his biological parents in a playground, was told he should wait for them there. hours bled into each other and the sun moved towards the west, little totsuka still waited for the adults who never showed up again. who were they to leave a child they had so easily as if they were throwing a bag of garbage. regardless of the reasons, it made kusanagi's blood boil at the mere thought of them.

then a couple who lived nearby took him in by the end of the day (or week, kusanagi wasn't privy of the exact timeframe it happened. the young man was vague in the details). if it weren't for them, no one knew what would happen to him if he still waited on the cold swings. he probably wouldn't have experience a short burst of happiness he felt from his adopted parents until it turned into yelling matches and drunken stupor that pushed the woman into packing her things and left without looking back at both of them. her departure left a huge scar on the man who he called father, turning into his vices of gambling and drinking more to the point of negligence of taking care of the child left in his care. day in and day out, the man went out of the house to go somewhere totsuka had no clue, leaving him into his own devices and amused himself into venturing out of his empty home to do things that passes time quickly.

that started the longer days of his absence and occasional knocks of scary men with hardened eyes who asked of his father's whereabouts. the boy truthfully told them he wasn't told where his father was, leaving him alone after seeing no lies in his cheery demeanor. right then, totsuka knew that his father is now in a large debt that has him avoiding the house and left him answering the debt collectors about the payment.

during the hours of nothing, totsuka spent it in his hobbies that he had took an interest in. this was where he gotten in the way his interests were flighty, switching to another hobby so swiftly as soon as his current hobby gradually became dull enough to shift his focus into something else. it left him pretty knowledgeable in how do things like the jack of all trades — nimble enough to work on things yet not enough to be a master.

even with the short-term hobbies, there were a few things that stayed with totsuka for years. one in particular is his fascination for the tales of the supernatural, of the things that hide in the dark and offer a bargain to a mortal for their desires to be granted with grave consequences.

the one who had influenced his love for tales was that brown-skinned lady who lived three blocks down his house. she was strange, dressed in old-fashioned dresses that suited her, talked her in that accent she never got rid of when she talks to him on his visits. and the bewitching way she tells him of stories she grew up with, of monsters who camouflage as humans to hunt their prey, of gods and goddesses who have battles with moon-eating serpents and crabs, and the stories of spirit guardians of the forests and the waters who help a human in their quests.

the lady was a large part of totsuka's life from what the blonde understood. he can see how totsuka's voice, turn soft and reverent when talks about her.

he loved recounting all of the stories she told him on the days he felt very nostalgic. tried telling them in that breathy and dreamy quality that the lady possessed but came up as quiet and dramatic, his voice hushed and raise on appropriate parts that added to the dramatic flaire his storytelling had.

among the legends and myths, there's only one that stuck to him.

in most places, there is a supernatural connection and meaning with the sunshowers — a phenomenon in which there is a drizzle when the sun is out and shining — he knew it meant a fox is getting married or a form of luck. but totsuka's version is different from that. according to her, it was a sign that a pair of **tikbalangs**, a being with the head and the legs of a horse, and arms and torso of a human — are also getting married like the fox but the sky, the mother, disapproved of the union, shedding tears toward earth.

* * *

once or twice, he caught totsuka talking to thin air. it wasn't like he was talking to himself in some of form of monologue or soliloquy but talking to _something _he cannot see with his own eyes.

(the first time was on a school day, a sports event that he skipped with mikoto and totsuka found them outside the school premises. he glanced at him subtly looking at the gardens, mouth silently moving in a soundless conversation to something in the bushes. rarely does he witness him talking outloud.

aside from that, he goes very polite around areas, muttering "excuse me" on anthills and graves. telling him that he rather not risk incuring their wrath and be cursed which had kusanagi scoffed at the notion but said nothing. he also does them despite being skeptical about the whole thing.)

no matter what the weather was in that day, it would rain at some point. it made him soaked to the bone if he didn't have an umbrella in his person. as he turned to check if his friend was also drenched — his eyes widen a little at totsuka's form being immaculately dry despite the heavy downpour. the other man has his arms spread wide, head titled up to feel the drops of rain hitting on his pale face, welcoming the rain like a very old friend.

it was a beautiful sight to witness.

"isn't nice?" totsuka asked him, twirling around the empty street with kusanagi trailing a few meters away with a red umbrella over his head.

he was smiling that showed his white row of perfect teeth. a show of how genuinely happy he was — more real that reached into kusanagi's ribcage and seized his heart in a grip that left him no space to breathe. it was intimate for him to see this more open totsuka in the years that he had known him.

kusanagi shook his head, "unless you're asking for a cold."

totsuka let out laugh, as if he found the idea silly. maybe he does, kusanagi mused.

"i won't, kusanagi-san. i rarely get sick from the rain." he gave him an enigmatic smile, a private joke that he himself knew but won't let kusanagi in on the joke.

he wished that he knew what it was for the fiftieth time since.

as they got back to the bar, he was still as dry as he was before the rain, trotting towards anna who was sitting beside a dosing mikoto, talking to her about something he saw from the flower shop they both passed by.

as he watched them, kusanagi recalled that one time anna came up to him to tell about totsuka's nature.

he wasn't a strain, she said as she raised her red marble on her eye level, somewhat lost in her thoughts on what she knew. his aura is touched by something unearthly as if he was blessed by them, smelling of damp earth.

(kusanagi thought of the story of the doomed marriage of the horse-like beings but dismisses it as soon as it crop up.)

kusanagi went on thinking, thinking, thinking on the unusual rainfalls that happened in past two weeks. it was officially summer, not much rain yet...there were a lot of rain.

it always happen around the younger man when he was happy. like the rain reacts to his moods.

it made kusanagi wonder if he was cursed or blessed by the rain.

**Author's Note:**

> I left the ending like that cos idk how to actually end it in any other way
> 
> twt: @allydyosei


End file.
